I NEED Tequila

Its been a while (again). But with the two kids growing and developing so fast, life just seems to be coasting at high speed and it’s a little scary to be freewheeling it. Storm has turned 5, and I am still amazed at how amazing this journey has been. Five years have gone by with a blink of an eye and it reminds me how short life really is. Thorin is coming up on 3 and he is getting more busy and more stubborn by the day. While he makes me want to pull my hair out, I am reminded that a free thinking, independent child, is a great thing. I need that reminder almost every day! He has taken to squawking like a indian minor bird every time I reprimand him and if I don’t acknowledge the squawking, he either hits or bites me … the joys of motherhood!

Last week, Andi, my sister calls me at sparrow’s fart to let me know her latest puppy addition has escaped the complex and disappeared into the neighboring complex. As she was already at work, she asked if I could please head to her place and be the rescuing agent for her little ball of fluff. Needless to say, I dash to get the kids ready for school and decide to do operation rescue pup on a round trip to school. I arrive to a guard who shows me where I need to go and a resident who was kind enough to let us in the rescue said dog. I get doggie, names Tequila, into the car and then drop him back at my sisters home, sealing up the hole he escaped from and head out to school.

Upon arrival at school, I hear my youngest and dearest inform me “I want Tequila” … my response may be a little inappropriate with “You’re not the only one”, but it had the realization dawn that my child is about to head into school telling everyone he wants hard tack liquor at 8 in the morning. So had to explain myself to the headmistress, I am not an alcoholic, merely a doggie rescuer. Please note, I was right, he ran around telling everyone that would listen that he wanted Tequila. Thankfully he has not done this in public with complete strangers, yet. I say yet, as I am sure this will still come.

Another fun moment was this past Easter weekend, when we had to Mirages, evidently from the airshow at the Randshow do a fly-past at home. I heard them coming a mile away and bolted out the door to see them. As an air force brat, it’s the best sound and sight I could hope for. Thorin, however, did not agree. When the rattling windows stopped and the high speed triangles disappeared into the distance, I heard the echoing of distraught tears from the room. Mommy’s passion for all things loud and has not been inherited by Thorin. He loves motorbikes, but that appears to be as far as it will go.

All round the last few months have been rough and interesting. My children are growing in leaps and bounds and mommy needs to find some routine in the craziness that is this new life. In time, I hope to find this routine and hopefully my blog wont be the forgotten slice of the internet it has become of late J

Categories: Joys of Motherhood, Learning Curve, Perfect Moments | Leave a comment

New Year and all that Jazz

Again, it has been a while since I last posted and how life does seem to tick along at a rapid pace. I am sure as we grow older our lives just seem to feel shorter and shorter. Facebook loves showing me my life 2-3 years ago, with a tiny Thorin or a very small Storm and I am reminded that they grow up far too quickly.

So not sure what I shared last, but thought I would catch up on all the going on late last year and bring you up to speed and hopefully moving forward I will be a little more active.

Thorin had his assessment from the OT and while it was still uncertain, they have said there is some Tactile Sensitivity. So we now have to find ways to better communicate with him and deal with his

Special quirks. I am learning every day what works and what doesn’t, but am assured that as his speech improves, so too will the dealing with his needs. For the moment, he has been on leave at home for a month, so completely out of routine and being a handful, but with the return to school on Monday, that should improve his current state as well.

I am actually somewhat disappointed the holiday is coming to an end. It has been great having the house full of activity. Kids have been at home for a full month and dad has been here for three whole weeks, so its been a busy time. And throughout I have baked like a machine. Its actually the latter that I am sad about, I should have spent more time with the kids over Christmas. A lesson learned for next year, as it did not really feel like Christmas, the festive spirit, which is normally strong with mommy, seemed to be lacking this year. Next year I will definitely take more time with the kids and plan better outings, but also, as they will be that little bit older, there might be more we can actually do.

Storm is doing very well and blossoming into such a nice young lady with good manners, even if she is trying to push boundaries a little with mommy and daddy. Again, getting into routine from Monday will certainly bring a sense of normality back into the house. Which, by the way, constantly looks like a tornado has hit the place. I have no idea how mothers who keep their kiddies at home full time do it. I am ready to run away after a few weeks of this chaos.

Father Christmas spoiled the kids quite nicely and one of the gifts, which I chuckle about, was brooms and cleaning sets for each kid. Who for the record, love cleaning. Although their cleaning is more like moving the mess from one side to another in the house. But every little bit helps.

So that is the update – nothing spectacular or exciting, but will certainly start sharing some more specific stories and lesson in the near future. Happy New year to all my followers, may 2018 be a spectacular year of fun and learning for us all J

 

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It’s a me thing, not a You thing

Not a Long post … sorry!!! Ever feel as a WFHM (work from home mom) or SAHM (stay at home mom) that you don’t do much?!?! Well, Get sick, but as in proper sick and watch your well run home go down in flames!

I met a friend for breakfast on Tuesday morning and that’s the last proper food I’ve had – ended up with my ulcer literally trying to kill me, so much so I will be swallowing a camera on Monday … but enough about me and my drama!

I have not been able to do anything! I lie, I did do a single load of laundry which took two days (you read that right). Loaded the machine on Thursday and took clothes out when it was done and then had to sit down because I’d apparently run the Comrades Marathon! Friday morning while I felt strong, I hung it up – 10 min job took like half an hour, my neighbors nanny must think I am the singularly slowest person in history!

So today I feel strong enough to attempt to get some semblance back into my house … or FELT … after four loads of dishes I’m done (about halfway through) … the lounge looks like a warzone – apparently we lost! The kitchen is just busy, the more I try to make some semblance of normality the more dishes I find, they seem to be breeding in the dark!!! Oh and the laundry … why is it, normally its a couple of loads a week (maybe 4 or 5 over 2 laundry days so it’s easy peasy) but slap them all together and you realize it’s enough to break any sane person’s spirit!

Today? Right Now? I see every little bit of what I do! Cause it hasn’t been done and it genuinely looks like the steepest hill to climb! My hubby happily says, let’s get a maid … I swear my eye twitched!!! So I breathe … I shall get this chaos back into shape, eventually … and when I have done so, let anyone ask me again what I do all day … I might take another week off and then invite them round for a braai 😛

For the record I am grateful hubby wanted to get a maid, but just didn’t see myself having the strength for a new busy body around when I feel (and look) like death warmed through!

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The Great Fingers Slammed in Car Door Incident of ’17

Children’s fingers are predominantly cartilage at such a young age … That was the glorious good news that graced my motherly ears last week after Storm nearly broke three fingers. My heart, my constitution and my mommy-honors were put through the ringer last Monday morning.

I have a morning ritual when dropping off Master Thorin and Mistress Storm. Because I have 2 monsters, I mean lovely children, under the age of 5, dropping them off simultaneously on a very busy road, during rush hour, is a test of any mother’s wrangling abilities. So, I pull in, unclip Madam and let her sort herself out and climb through to the driver’s seat, picking up her bag off the front passenger seat, exiting the driver’s door, supposedly closing the door, and then going to stand at the front of the car with her hand on the round Geely logo. There she waits until I have unclipped Thorin from behind the Driver’s seat, slung his bag over my shoulder, him on the other hip, close his door, generally with the use of my fat posterior, before locking the door, taking Storm’s hand from the Geely logo and walking to greet the Guard, Benji, at the gate with high-5’s and then off to their respective classes.

Sound like fun, doesn’t it??? Oh did I forget to mention I also need to pack cookies in my pocket as a bribe to get them to actually stay at school? That is a whole other story 😛

On Monday last week our arrival goes according to plan. I had pulled a taxi stunt in front of the school. When traffic is stationery, my Geely becomes a blood great big 4×4 as I go bundu bashing along the gardens to get to the school parking area. On this day, I had done just that and caught the bottom of my car a little (okay a lot, a rather loud clunk and Thorin echoing a ‘Oh Oh’ from the back seat. Cheeky doesn’t even begin to describe him these days.) Anyways, I was a little bit rattled by the loud arrival at school, but ritual is ritual. I unclipped Storm, packed her bag ready on the passenger seat, took Thorin’s bag, slung his bag over my shoulder, opened his door, unclipped him. Told Storm to hurry up and close my door and head to the front. I picked Thorin up and slammed the door shut with my hip. You know that thing we do, because we don’t have a spare hand. You do the Country and Western step-slide with your butt to close the door. I did that and please forgive my cringe, but I just heard an almighty scream from behind me.

Storm had decided this particular morning, she would FAF. Faf is a family word for f*^k about … sorry, terrible description, but it is what it is. Its when children do anything to avoid having to do what they are supposed to do. For Storm, that meant, not taking her bag, not closing mommy’s drivers door, not going to the front of the car. Oh no, this meant, she would investigate the gap the open passenger door left, only visible from her height stood at the drivers seat. Let me be more specific, the gap that opens in the car door hinge when its open. Yes, you read that right, THE HINGE! Storm decided to stick her tiny, fragile little hands through the hinge of the car door, right at the moment her mother decided to Kung Fu the door.

I simultaneously dropped Thorin to a standing position, opened the passenger door and raised Storm to a hug. Then realized that this helps buggerall stood right next to a busy road. Thorin is confused and liable to bolt, so then raised him as well. Two bags, two kids, cookies and eardrum piercing screaming, I headed past the guard with not even a hello, flustered as to what the hell I do now?!?!

I dropped Storm on a beanbag in the foyer, ran Thorin to class and as I turn to make my way back to the front of the school, I hear Storm howling in pain. By this stage she has half the school staff catering to her. I phone Andre in near floods of tears, I am too broke to take her to the doc, he needs to help out (terrible mommy spent too much money on baking supplies). Anyway I rush to the NHC and storm in without an appointment, hoping to gain something from their kind hearts.

Bless their receptionist, who takes one look at me and says, “Morning Mrs Odendaal, how can I help”. Firsrly, Very good service on their part, secondly, I think she might be a stalker, thirdly, I think my face must have been a sight to behold. Rabbit in the headlights obviously has nothing on a mother who thinks she has just broken her child’s fingers.

Side note here … when this happened, That instance I got her hand out the door, there was a dark almost black grove that rand the width of her middle and ring fingers on her right hand, and while I know she has a crooked ring finger, it looked a lot more crooked than I recall. So black, unable to move, skew fingers, yeah, I was certain they were broken. Now back to my very helpful, stalker receptionist and the mommy rabbit in the headlights.

I begged for a doctor, any doctor. She checked who we normally see and I was adamant anyone will do. One phone call and she had chucked a patient out of our normal doctor, into another doctor’s office and we were ushered pretty much, straight through. The nurse who met us took one look at a shivering, sniffing Storm, who by this stage had stopped screaming blue murder, but wanted nothing from no one and was starting to come down of the adrenaline high and shaking like a leaf. By this stage she was able to move her fingers and I don’t know if it was simple circulation but even the dark black had faded to a dark pink. Then I heard those lovely words from the nurse. “Children’s fingers are predominantly cartilage at such a young age” … I must have looked the part, because I was instantly relieved.

The doc came through, by this stage the dark pink, was just off normal skin colour. Storm had wiped her tears away and her shaking had subsided. It had only been 10, maybe 15 minutes since this all began, but she was looking more and more like a normal kid and I was looking more and more like that bloody mother we all read about … the one who overreacts. I wanted the examination table to eat me whole … cause it became clear she was fine, nothing a bandage, an ice pack and a sucker didn’t fix. Lucky for Storm she even got a cheese burger for breakfast (don’t judge me, she loves them and she needed nommies before I could Nurofen her.)

Her hand barely bruised and while I certainly wouldn’t want any damage to my child’s gorgeous little hand, I kinda was hoping for some evidence of her ordeal … As I do kind of look like a drama queen. But I gained one thing for all the ‘kak en drama’ she is now as good as gold at drop off. She doesn’t argue at all. She climbs straight out, grabbing her bag, hesitant to close the door, but she does it ever so gently and waits at the Geely logo without me even having to ask. I am sure this phase will pass, but forgive me, if a part of me is grateful for the obedience. I have also learned to be uber careful before butt-slamming my car doors.

Categories: Joys of Motherhood, Learning Curve, Medical | Leave a comment

Stop being so Judgey

I am going to climb back on my soapbox and ask if its every mother’s prerogative to take a stance on Breastfeeding vs Bottle feeding and Natural Birth vs Cesarean Section? I am about to actually get sucked through my laptop into Facebook and bitch slap at least a few people!!!

So, in the last week I have read about how Cesarean section, unless a life saving options, is the ‘easy way out’ and makes me less of a mother, oh and my child will have deficits for being ‘easily’ sliced from my womb … you cannot see the glowingly red tinge to my face as I type those words! Oh then there is the lazy mothers who don’t breastfeed, how sad because our children will be sicker and less likely to thrive, oh and we wont bond with our children, which will lead to them becoming criminals later in life.

Have you ever in your life read such utter shit???

I try not to swear but what the FU%K is wrong with women, with fellow mothers, with people?! I did not CHOOSE to have a C-section and I did not CHOOSE to bottle feed … so screw every single mother who thinks I took the ‘easy way out’ and that my children will have deficits and be criminals because of my actions.

I actually had to stop myself from facebook stalking the one old bat … must be late 40’s, early 50’s, with two kids late teens and a grandmother. I want to stalk her, just so I can one day run into her and ask her face to face to repeat the crap she puts on Facebook. I want her to have the steal balls to call me a bad mother to my face. Its easy sitting behind a computer screen and judge others, not so easy when you have to face the very people you are defaming.

I might point out that both my kids were c-sec, bottle fed babies, who for all intensive purposes are well adjusted and healthy. They have no DEFICITS (Hell I hate that word) and they are and will not become CRIMINALS … also I would like to ask Granny-Bloody-Know-It-All if she has a psychology degree that allows her these unique insights into my children. Because according to her Facebook she’s an Admin Clerk … may I kindly ask the Witch to bugger off and do some filling rather than judge fellow mom’s on a group that was intended for support.

Apologies for my crazy rant, but I have had it up to my ears with this BS that’s been floating around Facebook this last week and a bit. I did have my say recently on another blog about the same issue, but this weekend it just plainly got out of hand.

One request to ALL moms who have the chance across this blog:

STOP judging other mothers …

Fed is Best!!!! Whether its breast, bottle, solids before 6 months vs waiting, yellow veg vs fruit, soy vs dairy … it does not matter. Every Pead and every clinic will have their own take on whats best for each child. Every child is unique and different and what works for mine will likely never work for yours.

Birth is Birth … whether you labored for 18 hours ad pushed out a happy bouncy bundle, or labored for 18 hours and still had to endure a C-sec, or no labour at all and simply strolled in 3 hours before your C-Sec, its YOUR choice (or not as Emergency C-sections happen) and its YOUR story. It really doenst matter how your child arrived, its still your child. Hell, some mommies don’t even get to carry their own children, they have to opt for surrogacy!

So Please, Please, Please stop judging each other, we’d make this journey of motherhood infinitely nicer 😀

Categories: Joys of Motherhood, Society, Undesirble | Leave a comment

Am I A Bad Mommy?

This morning we tootle off to school with Thorin 3mm under chocolate … in fact he’s face looked as though he attempted to lick a bowl of chocolate, gave up and simply snorted it. I think he’s eyes were the only part not chocolated this morning. Once I offloaded him at school I also noticed he’d lost the battle with a pen. Again, bad mommy, was taking Thorin into school looking like he had not seen soapy water in a week. As per routine now, I took him into class and apologised to the teacher for the state he was in. Then I realized she was heading for the wetwipes before we had actually entered the classroom. Almost as if she knew Thorin was going to need a good wipe down when he arrived and my heart broke.

I seriously need to vindicate my ‘bad mommy’ reputation, because I swear I am not THAT mother .. okay maybe I am.

To be honest, I dont know if I have mentioned my concerns regarding Thorin’s Tactile Sensitivity before in my blog, but we have our suspicions that this is what makes him that little more unique. Tactile Sensitivity is part of the Autism spectrum and before you shoot me, I am not saying my son is Autistic, I am merely pointing out that he has his own unique way of dealing with stress. A perfect example is saying no to a cookie can lead to such a complete meltdown that he ends up banging his head against the floor. While to some this may just sound like a temper tantrum, there is a fine line between losing his cool and getting so worked up and frustrated he doesnt realize he’s hurting himself. So there is a time and a place for no, and the morning rush is not one of them.

I sometimes wish his teacher knew the lengths parents go to, to ensure the happiness and well being of their children. Judging us by the 5 minute window each morning and evening is not exactly a clear picture of their parental abilities. Thorin is up a good hour and a half going on two hours before school. By drop off he has played, run around, fought with his sister, being changed at least once, spilt juice, thrown toys and basically made me nuts. So when I take 10 minutes to dress into something vaguely acceptable, and Thorin decides to draw a Picasso on his face, I cannot really do much about it. I have to just accept he is a little boy who is determined to wear tattoos everywhere. And he’s dirty face, believe it or not has been wiped once before today already. But a child with Tactile Sensitivity hates being wiped down. That delicately soft wetwipe is like sandpaper to him. I listen to him scream when I wipe his face and it breaks me.

And in case you think its just Thorin, Storm has her moments too. Any mother with a young girl who has long curly hair will tell you its a complete and utter mission to brush their hair. For all the gadgets and treatments, a simple morning brush of the hair can so quickly (and always does) turn into a moment of pure torment. Forgive this ‘bad mommy’ if I some days give into the pleads for mercy. When Storm begs through floods of tears and snotty nose, for more to brush her hair anymore, and let me be clear that she gets to the point where she says she simply cant breathe it hurts so much, I stop. While I know Storm is a fabulous actress, when she is unable to even talk she’s so hysterical, I have to give her at least an occasional win. When I stop, she goes to school with a messy bun. Do the other mother’s notice? Sure they do. Luckily, most of those that do, have girls of their own. And with the exception of one mother at our school, the rest politely smile and move on, knowing that the frazzled mother carting her two monsters into school does not need their judgement, she’s doing enough of her own!

I realize something sat here writing this blog, I am trying to explain my parenting style and I shouldnt. Reality is, I have two happy, healthy, well adjusted children, who in fairness are far prettier than I deserved. (They def won the genetic lottery and they definitely did not get that from me). So while I know my children are all these gorgeously good things, I also know that they are not vain and luckily dont seem to care what others think. So the teacher thinks I am lazy because my son’s face is a nice dark shade of chocolate, I dont care … he LOVED eating that cookie! And so what if Storm’s hair is a little messy, instead of fighting to brush her hair, she and I got to enjoy an episode of PJ Masks without any tears. And for all of these, mommy felt very bad driving home today, but she came home, had a cup of coffee and smiled, because the children are happy! What more could a mother ask for? Isnt THAT our job? Making sure the kids are happy, healthy, well adjust, secure and oblivious to the tortures adulthood and society force on us?

So am I a ‘Bad Mommy’? Possibly, but for sending Thorin to school with a dirty face and pen tattoo all over his arm, definitely not, he is a little boy and if I tried to keep him clean, he’d never enjoy his childhood 🙂

PS – I need to share the story of Storm and her fingers getting jammed in the car door … but I dont think I will do it here, I am already teetering precariously close to the edge of doom. I think I have told enough bad mom stories today … I shall wait to share this badge of shame for another day!

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Vaginal Seeding

Okay this is going to be my normal blog, so forgive, I am not going to post a pretty pic of one of my gorgeous children today. Instead I am going to have a quick vent at something I have just read (and cant unread) about a new trend called Vaginal Seeding. I shit you not, this is a real thing. I am not going to bore you (or gross you out) with the details, but I am going to touch on something that is very personal to me and that this topic just seems to bulldoze over. I will post a link at the bottom to what I just read, so you can torture yourselves after this read.

So my big thing is, and actually its not a big thing, for me at least. Its this negative association crap we as a society has with C-sections. Like what the actual F is wrong with having a C-Sec? Elective, emergency or otherwise, was is society’s deal with it? I honestly cannot tell you how many times I have read a mom apologizing for having had a C-sec, or being made to feel less than perfect that she didnt squeeze her lovely bundle of joy from her most intimate of places. Can I please express that I think society has lost the damn plot!

I never knew there was a stigma associated with it. I myself was an emergency C-sec, some thirty odd years ago. After 28-plus hours of labour, the docs finally decided I was breech and was going to move (yeah I know I am stubborn), so off to surgery they went and out I came. My mom had had two successful natural births, but hell, I am NEVER one to follow the crowd, I needed to be different. I was no less of a child, no less affectionate to my mom, no less intelligent, no less lovable, no less anything for being cut from the womb, versus squeezed from the womb. When I was in labour I had a choice to hold out another 12 hours (18 hours in) and risk my Pre Eclampsia becoming a dangerous factor, or accept that it was the safest option to go in and fetch Storm.

For a split second, put yourself in my shoes … just for a second. I had spent FOUR months being told I was lucky if I made it to term, lucky if Storm arrived healthy, lucky if everything went according to plan and NOW, at the point of reckoning I was asked to gamble with her health, her safety and her life? Sod every single Womb Squeezing Lunatic who thinks my decision and that of my gynea to do an emergency C-Sec was a bad one!? (and for the record it was an emergency C-Sec, cause I again would not be outdone, so I shot my BP up for good measure). My daughter was delivered 16 minutes later, healthy, happy and perfect. Looking at my daughter, not for a single split second, did I give a F what ANYONE thought of how she arrived, she was there. Yes I had a doctor stitching away at my abdomen, but I could see none of that, I could feel none of that and yes I had a six week recovered ahead of me, but I felt nothing but blissful happiness and contentment.

So to every mother who apologizes or makes light of her ‘alternative’ route for delivery, STOP! You are a mother no matter how your baby entered this world and you should never apologise for how you chose or had chosen for you how your baby arrived. My son was an elective C-Sec … chunky mommies are not suitable for VBAC (at least its not recommended so close together) plus I knew what a C-Sec entailed, why screw with a good thing.

Anyway, that is my bit done! I just had to have my say on the subject, cause this is just idiocy that people are made to feel less of a mother for having a surgical delivery 🙂 Have a good weekend mommies 🙂

Link: https://www.hotmomsclub.com/moms-are-being-urged-against-the-latest-birth-trend-called-vaginal-seeding/

PS – I have to say if you read the article .. This is utterly ludicrous and bonkers all rolled into one vaginal cotton swap … SIES!

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Juggling Act

Wow, the last few months have flown by. It honestly feels like the older I get, the faster time goes. I have hear this said before, but have never actually experienced it. A quick update on all the chaos at home, Storm is becoming worldly wise with her best friend who now lives in New Zealand. Every time an aircraft flies overhead, she waves to Petrus (the friend) and everyone has to join in the ‘celebration’. Its very sweet. The highlight though, HAS to be Thorin’s second birthday. It snuck up on me like a thief in the night. I knew it was coming and was planning in the back of my mind what to do and then without warning, 2 weeks before I realized I had done no concrete planning, supermom put on her cape and worked her magic.

The week of his birthday I took on an insane order. Now, in fairness, I did not realize how mammoth the task was when I took on the order. What I thought would be a two day job, turned into a three day, 5 people, assembly line job. I finished it at 7pm the Friday night, with NO real baking or organising for the 4 families invading my house the Saturday. Can you see my panic? I could. So I packed hubby off to do the delivery while I threw together a cake batter. Please note, my new found income, Madam Baker, would not settle for a simple cake. Oh No! It has to be a two tier construction themed cake, had a plan for weeks on what I wanted to do, now I had less than 6 awake hours to pull it off (while still doing the decor and the food prep).

I will not bore you with a play by play, but will say, that for a cake that was baked the night before, and assembled and decorated in less than 2 hours, it was amazing and I made my ‘Baker Mom’ badge justice. Only 3 of his friends arrived, but it was the perfect party. The kids did whatever they wanted, I only planned some basic activities, Hard Hats and Construction plastic toys, so they could ‘fix’ the house and chalk for them to decorate my walls. The kids were far happier than I expected. We did so much planning for Storm’s second, jumping castles, bubbles, toys and games and the kids were not interested. This time I did minimal planning and the three little ones ran the garden rampant. The parents, had a glass of wine and enjoyed the winter sun and the adult conversation.

The reason for the rambling is simple, I realized that Thorin and his friends will not remember this party. I will not make it to the top of the ‘party throwing’ mom’s list. I will however do this again. The one set of parents,was a first introduction for us. We knew them from School on a Hello and Goodbye basis, but not a full conversation basis. This party allowed us time to get to know them and I think they are a good fit. Lets be fair, if you have followed my blog the last 4 years, you will know we are not the most sane family around. It takes a little touch of crazy to appreciate who we are. I think this mom and dad have that touch of crazy. But shhh dont tell them. I am realizing most parents in the thirties with small kids, have a touch of the crazy. They HAVE to. Have you spent an afternoon with kids (plural) … I do regularly and often wonder how my mother didnt go absolutely certifiable with three of us.

I love my kids, love them dearly, but they were on 2 days ‘school holiday’ the same week as the birthday and the mammoth bake. I can honestly say, I do NOT know how the teachers do a classroom full of these little hooligans every day. I officially salute them and appreciate my kids’ teachers even more for doing such an amazing job raising them!

So to sign off, dont overdo birthday parties for the little ones, they just want sweets, friends and the love of their family. They dont always need big fancy parties to have fun. While I will definitely go larger next year for my young prince, I think to date this was one of my favourite parties, because I made new friends and actually got to enjoy singing happy birthday to my Prince. Who for the record, LOVES to blow out his candles. So much so, we did it about 40 more times after the festivities had drawn to a close. 🙂

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Asshole Parent Badge

So I am officially an asshole parent … I have achieved this badge of honour after a very rough night and a very trying attempt by Storm to get the better of me. I have read many a blog about parents reaching “asshole parent” and wondered how far a child needs to push you, before you actually throw your hands in the air and accept your new title. Last night I reached that point …

Monday night into Tuesday morning Storm spiked a rather interesting fever, her temp registered normal, but she was incredibly hot to the touch. Needless to say I Panadoed her and waited. But by 1 am she was awake complaining she wasn’t feeling well. Not wanting to wake the whole house, I set her up on the couch in the lounge with her duvet and pillow and of course, the much request, Amazing Spiderman. Eventually Daddy came to relieve me at 4:30, when I’d managed all of 30 min sleep. Within 15 minutes he got madam to pass out, much to my agitation.

At 6 when the alarm went off, I decided it would be cruel to send her to School as she needed the sleep and would be a handful. I have my moments, but don’t feel it fair to farm her off on her unsuspecting teacher. The day went from bad to worse, after a little less than 3 hours (interrupted only by dad and Thorin heading to school), Storm started literally bouncing off the walls. So I got up and started baking some mini cupcakes for my mom, who had fallen on Monday at work and was nursing some very stiff and sore legs. Storm created chaos and I tried to keep up with cleaning around her. We did the delivery of the “Get Well Soon” cupcakes, got her some lunch and headed back home. More chaos ensued. I eventually gave up trying to clean wherever she went, it just wasn’t working.

She refused to get any sleep. When Dad arrived home, I punched out and went to get some sorely needed sleep! I awoke to take-aways and two very happy children. I thought the day had worked out well. That was, until, bedtime rolled round. Daddy took Thorin to bed and Storm started screaming blue murder, because how DARE we suggest she should get some sleep. I decided to compromise, Duvet and Pillow on the couch and 15 minutes to relax before she needed to head to bed. I switched off the Television and made her lie in the semi-dark and quiet. About 5 minutes later, she starts her evening ritual of I am hungry, I am thirsty, I need to wee, I need to read a story, I need to … the list goes on. Well, sadly for Storm she got the short end of mommy whose prior 90 minutes sleep may have saved her sanity, but did very little to curb her lack of patience.

When I got the “But I NEEEEEED to read my magazine” I lost it. Walked up, took the magazine and very inappropriately threw it across the lounge onto the dinning room table and headed back to wash some more dishes. Needless to say there was some screaming and wailing and tears and me? Well lets just say I stood there, realizing I had earned the Asshole Parent badge because I would not let her play with her magazine, well after bedtime, the evening after an all-nighter. If it weren’t that she is still only about 3 foot tall, I would think I have a teenager on my hands.

There I stood, at the sink, my hands in the dishwater and a rather ridiculous smile on my hand, because I had done it. I had reached that point. That point parents get to, where they no longer care, care what their children NEEEED! While I will always love my daughter, deeply and dearly, the moment I thought, maybe, just maybe, I had been to rough on her, I turned around to find her quietly snoring away. For all the frustration and negotiation, that simple moment watching her sleep, highlighted that I did the right thing, cause my grumpy monkey would not remember mommy losing her sh!t in the morning. So here’s to all you mommies, sleep deprived and in sore need of a holiday, I salute you! You are amazing and for the record, I am proud of my Asshole Parent Badge 😀

Categories: Joys of Motherhood, Medical, Perfect Moments | Leave a comment

Bonding happens when you Least Expect it!

I do recall mentioning more than once in the past that I have had difficulty bonding with Thorin, most likely the PPD, but could just be that life is very different with two children versus only one. I have always felt sad and lacking where Thorin is concerned, as if I am doing him a disservice and might be starving him of much needed love. Somehow these thoughts follow me almost every day in everything I do. When Thorin does not want to give me a hug, I am reminded it could be because I havent shown him enough love. When I cannot comfort him and he only wants “daddy” I am reminded … I think you get the just of the theory.

This was my life … until this last week.

It all started on Monday with a disorganised trip to school. Andre had to drop the car at the service centre, so I dropped the kids and then needed to get him. We left a little later than usual and the kids had been going with daddy for about a week. In the chaos, I realised they were slightly out of routine. Any mom would know, routine is the backbone of our sanity. We got to school and Storm dropped her bag and then followed me to Thorin’s class and as I reached for the door Thorin lost it. Now, before I get shot, I understand that we are heading for an episode of separation anxiety, but this was not that. I know my son well enough to know he was just plain petrified to be going to school.

A little history, Monday the week before he was moved into the 2 to 3 year old group. While he is not yet 2, he’s fellow class mates moved, so the decision was made to move him alongside them, rather than leave him behind. Therefore, its a new class and new teachers. A period of adjustment is to be expected, but Thorin’s super clingy, almost digging fingers into my shoulder is not adjustment, its good old fashioned fear of the unknown.

I stood in the class with my youngest screaming blue murder, Storm unsure of what exactly is going on and two teachers basically too busy elsewhere to assist. I eventually lost my cool and forced the teaching assistant to help. I could not keep my sanity with Thorin screaming, Storm tugging for attention and two teachers too bone idle to assist. I handed him over, even more hysterical at being forced into the arms of a teacher he clearly did not want, headed to the principals office and lets put it politely, lost it.

Its been many years since I have been so upset, that I actually leave my tantrum halfway because I was either going to start swearing or crying and I refused to do either, especially not with Storm by my side. I was NOT going to upset Storm through my own actions. So I said my piece, stormed off (excuse the pun) and took Storm to class. By then, the principal was outside the class waiting for me, but luckily a fellow parent caught her and I made my escape before I had to further explain being upset. I climbed in my car and burst into tears. After picking up hubby, he phoned and checked that Thorin was good at school, as I was so close to fetching him and taking him home with me. It killed me to leave him in a place he clearly did not want to be. Andre was assured that Thorin had calmed down and the situation would be addressed with the teachers.

Please forgive the long winded story, but there is a very clear, very welcomed silver lining. Mamma Bear came out in full force that morning and proved without a doubt, that I may not feel like I have bonded with Thorin, but I clearly have. It took that drive home after dropping hubby at the office to reflect and realize that Thorin is every bit as important to me and if anything, I have never been quite so protective over Storm. I have lost my cool to protect her, but this was a whole new level for me. I may not be proud of my actions, but I am so grateful for the lesson and sat here tonight, I smile, because everything happens for a reason. Today Thorin was diagnosed with an ear infections, so his miserableness was perhaps the start of the ear infection, but having had him at home with me today, I have listened to him asking for Daddy ALL day, but even after daddy got home, it was my lap he wanted to curl up on.

I am reminded that motherhood is not one thing, its not one emotion, its not one smooth journey, it evolves and changes almost daily. We learn more everyday and we continue to grow. Also, just when you think you have failed as a mother, the universe finds a way to remind you that no matter how hard you are on yourself, your kids will ALWAYS see you as the perfect parent. And in case I did not hear the universe clearly, Storm has taken to telling me how awesome I am as a mommy! She’s too cute and I am sure stocking up on noddy-badge points for the next time she decides to tear pages out of her story book, but that is a different story all together 🙂

Categories: Joys of Motherhood, Learning Curve, Perfect Moments, Undesirble | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment